My Mom the Bitch

Mom, you remember when you put me in rehab at 15? Do you remember when you let me stay in jail way too many hours after getting arrested for underage drinking 3 years later? Remember when you got mad at me for not telling you I wouldn't be graduating High School less than a week away because I'd been skipping school? Remember when you slapped my face in front of my friends because I got fresh and thought it would be cool to curse at you? Remember when you kicked me out the house because Tony jumped in my window and you thought I'd "let" him in?

I sure do. And thanks for all of it.

My Mom the Awesome

I also remember you getting Dad to paint my room when I was away for the summer as a surprise. I remember your always looking for fun activities for us to do as a family. I remember you giving us the car when we could drive. I remember you putting in a pool cause you thought we'd like it. I remember you cooking nice meals for us. I remember you being on my side when I got suspended from school. I remember you rushing me to the doctor for stitches in my mouth when I got hit. I also remember the countless rides to friends' houses, the comfort of our lives, the interest you would take, and the summers at Mimi's.

I sure do. And thanks for all of it.

My Mom was my Hero

I remember the smell of your perfume and of coffee in the morning; and the click clack of your heels after you dressed for work. I remember how those smells and the sounds of you and Dad talking in the morning before school was always something that comforted me. And I remember how pretty you looked in your suits and how proud I was of you that you were my Mom. You used to make a joke that "your other kid" wouldn't kiss and hug you bye when you dropped us for school. But do you know why I still did? Cause I was proud of you and proud you were my Mom. I wanted my friends and everyone to see and know you were my Mom! That's the big secret. I joked that it was because I was so cool I didn't care what others thought and maybe that was partly true. But mostly. I wanted the witnesses.

I sure did.

And There's Only the Love

Forgive the non-traditional verbiage of this "Mother's Day Card," Mom, but you're not a very traditional Mom are you? Not anymore than I was a traditional kid I imagine. But together, we made it. We're still making it. No matter where I move or what I do or where I go, you are always in my heart and my mind. I will always look to you as the one who used to rise and set my sun's and rotate my moon's. Between the anger and the tears and the fear, there has always been the love.

Artificial happiness, Mom, that's not what we have. We have the real. And the real is the love. Everything else is just the telling of the story. And what I have discovered is there's nothing but the love that is left even after the story has been lived or told. I love you, Mom. I am glad we lived a lot of our stories together. They make for fun ones to tell today.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Let's keep making our stories!

© 2010, Digits. The Bitch part was through the mind of adolescence. No matter how anyone ever perceives us, it's always the perception of the story that can be changed. If it cannot, then one will become a slave to it if the perception is painful and use it as a filter for life. In truth, I believe there is nothing left but the love. The rest is only the story we tell ourselves. Happy Mother's Day to all Mom's, Mom-like people, nurturers, and parents to furry children.